There is a man they call The Burns. And apparently all he does is catch touchdowns. After spending most of the week complaining through the media that he is not receiving his fair share of looks from his QB Darren Brodie (aka Captain Stupid, aka The Dutchman), The Burns went out and hauled in two TD passes to lead FPC to victory and take a commanding lead in the hammer rankings. God help us all.

On the game's first drive The Dutchman guided the team down the field. It immediately became apparent that the Hurricanes had no answer for FPC's vaunted option and the Dutchman ran it to perfection with Larry "Big Angry" Hewes. It wasn't long before The Big Angry found The Burns in the end zone for the first of what would be two TD passes for the oft maligned halfback. Mitts then knocked in what may have been the most controversial extra point in NCC flag football history.

With the return of Joe Kerr and Chris Comps the defense looked solid. However, its bend-but-don't-break strategy backfired when it...well, broke. FPC 7, Hurricanes 7.

On the ensuing drive, The Dutchman started to show signs of his Friday night activities as throws started going everywhere except to FPC receivers. The drive was finally put to rest after a deep ball in the middle found the Hurricane safety instead of Feaster and The Big Angry who had collided about ten yards earlier. Fortunately for Captain Stupid the defense provided a solid effort, forcing the Hurricanes to turn the ball over on downs at midfield with two plays remaining in the half. After a 30 yard completion to move the ball to the 20, The Big Angry rolled outside on an option and hit the infamous Willie D. for a TD with no time on the clock. FPC 14, Hurricanes 7.

After a deep kickoff to start the half the Hurricanes took over and began marching down the field. With The Burns catching TDs he doesn't have time to play D. This allows the FPC defense to blitz more, which forces opposing QBs to throw balls quicker than they would like, making interceptions all the easier. Mitts proved this defensive theory accurate with a diving interception on the sidelines at midfield. Considering his 3" vert, it wasn't difficult to drag his left foot and stay in bounds while catching the ball. Unfortunately, The Dutchman obviously had other things to do on the sidelines as he quickly threw a interception to get the FPC offense back off the field.

A broken play enabled the Hurricanes to pull off a 55 yard TD run to tie the game. On the ensuing drive, The Dutchman finally shook off the effects of the Red Bullies and led the team down the field. On a 4th and 5 from the 10, The Big Angry converted with a wobbly pass that the infamous Willie D had to dive back for. On first and goal The Dutchman found The Burns for his first TD pass and the lead. FPC 21, Hurricanes 14.

With solid corner play from JoKer and Geo, the Hurricanes were forced to take the underneath passes which ate up the clock. With just a few plays remaining in the game, Johnny Meatballs called for the blitz on 3rd and long. With L-Train and C Comps both blitzing, the Hurricanes were forced to go deep. Meatballs picked it off to seal the game.

The last time FPC opened the season at 2-0 they won the division. You heard me.